Loving ourselves first is not selfish IF we are doing it for the right reasons. Let me explain…
If you don’t have the money in your pocket, can you give it to me? Also, do you know what it feels like to have it, a lot of it? You can’t and you don’t.
We must love ourselves so deeply and uncompromisingly so that we become willing to do our inner work. To accept with care and gratitude all the beautiful parts of us but also to do the dirty laundry and start peeling the onion. And to get to the bottom of that cluttered ‘onion’ of limited, unloving thoughts about ourselves. To accept the not so nice traits of our and to our intentions towards improving them.
This process requires time, energy, willingness and openness. It also requires dropping our ego, either in form of ego or fear (all the same just different faces) and to accept that we need to start to learn what loving ourselves means. Why? Because no one else thought us that. Our parents didn’t, our school didn’t and our society most certainly didn’t not will it. It comes from YOU.
And the motivation for learning how to love yourself so utterly, deeply and fully shouldn’t be to have it all for yourself, to make it all about you. Oh no! Not in the slightest. It’s all about those around you.
You become so happy, so accepting of yourself with all the easy and not so easy bits, that you love all of it. You become self-sufficient and you learn how to love someone so imperfect as you are. And then…magic happens. You can give those around you, those imperfect, less happy, needier more of your light. Because you don’t depend on a top up from your loved ones, you’ve got it endlessly within you.
That’s why love towards others, compassion towards other, kindness towards others starts with YOU.
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